2018: The Year of The D
Diving into my theme for 2018, I’m doing things a bit differently this year.
Every year, instead of making new year resolutions, I create a theme that guides my goals, priorities, decision making, behaviours and plans for the year. Living to a theme, and in ways that brings the theme to life connects all of my needs, choices and actions across all aspects of life to a single, shared idea. The concept of the theme is designed to help define and better focus on what is important to me right now and give everything I do greater meaning and purpose.
Living to a theme also keeps me accountable for bringing it to life, and for separating distractions from priorities by being more thoughtful in my planning, choices and actions throughout the year. Whenever it matters, I start turning ideas and thinking into action by answering two simple questions:
“Is ( idea, goal, behaviour, decision etc) consistent with ( theme)?”
“How does ( idea, goal, behaviour, decision etc) contribute to / create / living with ( theme)?”
Themes also make reflecting on the year - what we did, learned, achieved and changed, how we grew, how on theme or off track we stayed and how we feel about it - easier, more insightful and more meaningful.
Defining different themes for each year has even had some surprising and unexpected benefits. Different themes have made me notice and become more aware and conscious of different things every year, and what i learn from each theme helps me find my way to the next.
To define my theme for 2018 I started with a few reflective steps back to the years of Experience ( 2017) and Change ( 2016), and was confronted with a few too many uncomfortable truths.
Looking back I discovered I hadn’t stayed as true to the themes as i thought. I found lots of ideas for activities to do, notes of changes to create and reasons why, the types of life experiences i felt i was missing and needed (because the gaps they created were harmful) and a few goals to achieve cemented in writing, but they were just ideas with no plans and no action.
Living to these themes and creating purpose needs me to be an aware, attentive, active participant in bringing them to life, but who I found was a passenger just going with the flow and relying on a mix of spontaneity, unplanned opportunities presented to me by others, distractions I became caught up in that by coincidence fit the themes, finding a fit with the themes in these things, and pure dumb luck to bring everything to life.
When it comes to my personal life, I’m dynamite at intention, dreadful at making or sticking to plans - but that’s not news to me. It’s actually the problem I intended these these themes to help me consciously address. Seeing something you dislike about yourself but don’t quite know how to fix, and your own blindness to your failed attempts written clear in your own words - it’s a fucking cold way to learn.
It all looked pretty dire and made of repeating problems and blindness to the traps of old bad habits. One thing was clear, I needed to be more deliberate in my approach if I wanted to do what I’d been trying to - start living differently. Different felt like it could be a theme, just the word felt like a strong enough reminder of why I chose it, but it also felt like I was falling into old traps again.
Reframing the last few years from feeling failure to learning lessons, i started to dig deeper into the problems in my way so I could understand them better. I also stepped back into the previous themes to define the experiences and changes I missed and wanted, and the reasons why, more clearly. The more I dived into the detail the clearer what i wanted and needed from the year, and for myself, became.
I hadn’t quite nailed the theme though. All the ideas I was coming up with sounded buzzwordy, felt the same and didn’t capture the blend of feeling fun and having purpose that wanted… When it finally came to me, it may have been inspired by a joke, but it felt so obvious and the perfect theme that said it all.
2018 is The Year of The D
It may have been inspired by a joke, but it comes from 4 ideas, and I needed my theme for 2018 to go deeper and give a lot.
I was joking with a friend about the lack of D in my diet, and how thirsty missing essentials can make a gay. - 2018 was going to need more nutrition.
My students were finishing their final assessments and the most focussed and motivated were full of questions on how to approach it to maximise their mark
- the high performers had a goal, were making a plan and doing the work to get the D and HD’s they had sights on
Summer was starting to turn up the heat and as my favourite season i was already poolside in sunshine - Time out is important and it’s always better soaking up the sunshine and Vitamin D
I needed to avoid the traps of old bad habits and blindly repeating the same problems, so new approaches and ideas had to be tried - To live differently than I have been, I need a different approach to creating change
2018: The Year of The D
The Year of the D comes with a few rules and reminders, a bit of a guide to follow for the year ahead. Some are new, some I have lived by (or try my best to) for many years, they’re in no particular order and I’m sure I’ll add more as I go.
The Rules of The D
Dive In - Life is for living, laughing and learning, so stop getting in your own way. Say YES to the things that come your way, and chase the things you want that don’t.
Don’t Doubt - Doubt is easy, it’s also the knife in your back. So put the fucking knife away and stop listening to it.
Dick about - Have fun, bounce around, day dream and doodle...and do more, it's been lacking. ( so if you know any boys who might want to share their toys...)
Dance - At home, down the street, in the club, at a class, round the pole or from the ropes, just dance.
Debt - Fuck it off.
Dare - Challenge your habits, stretch the comfort zone and do a few things that are uncomfortable and daring.
Dollars - Make it rain more.
Different - The key to rocking the D is to do it differently, so find new ways, create new habits, try new things, go new places - don’t get stuck in the old ones.
Dazzle - Positive, engaged, present, satisfied, passionate, connected, confident, open, happy and motivted. Dazzle myself with the vibe, because the rest is self talk that just gets in the way.
Delight -We don’t always come first and the times to be selfish are rare, so delight others with kindness - the everyday kind that starts with a smile, and the kind that needs empathy, will listen and help when life’s not ok and it’s needed.
Dynamic - Spontaneity and flexibility are always part of the plan, but they shouldn’t be the plan.
Deliberate - Goals, decisions, changes and habits for the year ahead, and the plan to make them happen.
Disappointment - life, others and you are all imperfect and things rarely go smoothly or to plan. Don't get distracted by derailments, they're are all part of the ride, so dust them off and keep driving.
Drive - We always have the power to make our own choices. You’re the only one driving your life, so you’re in control of where you end up.
Dynamite - Good health and wellbeing, both physical and mental, will give you the energy and vibe to be and look dynamite.
Diary - Invest more time and make more plans with people and friends. The social diary should be fuller than the work diary… even if sometimes they’re both the same.
Develop - Old habits, new skills, different experiences, other perspectives. Life can get boring when you’re not growing, learning, changing or challenging - so make the time and take the effort.
Discover - unexplored places, unheard of things, untapped experiences, unfulfilled plans and unlived dreams - across the road, the country and the globe. The Federation didn't call the ship Discovery so it could fly around in orbit on Thrusters forever. Make it the fuck so bro.
Downtime - It's ok to stop, do nothing, just breathe, stare at walls, look at kittens, book a float tank, a massage, meditate or read. Be mindful of taking time out, and not using it or filling it with noise.
The Year of The D - it's a lot to grab hold of, but I'm sure I can take it.
Self reflection, being objectively honest with ourselves, setting goals, changing habits, creating behaviours, finding ( or creating) purpose and personal growth all present their own unique challenges and life is full of unexpected twists.
Creating and living to a theme doesn’t mean living free of personal challenge, rewritten plans and life twists, but it is a simple reminder of our purpose that could give us the extra boost of motivation and resilience when we need it.
some of my favourite resources that might be useful.
How to Define a Theme for Your Year - The Meaning Movement
Set Your Theme of the Year Before You Set Your Goals - Psychology Today
Vulnerability is a Super Power - Brene Brown TED Talk
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck - Mark Manson
What do you want your first minute every day to be like - Kelly Coffey
The Power of Habit - Charles Duhigg
The EQ Edge - Steven Stein, Howard Book
