Holiday….. with a side of empty neurosis

Howdy Toasters, Planning a holiday should be a wonderful, exciting thing. New adventures, new places, new lifestyle, new streets, food to taste, shops to see, bars to play in, the list of exploration and discovery goes on…. Stepping out of your own life, even for a moment should feel fantastic…. So why doesn’t it? I’ve always had excuses to not travel.. too busy, not enough money, new job,  no job, study, fear and sheer bloody minded, stupid obstinence… I’ve made them all and now, days away from my first overseas holiday in an embarrassingly long time, happy to going away, … Continue reading Holiday….. with a side of empty neurosis

The grass

Howdy Toasters, (getting all post break up poeticy… ) I was sitting on the hill on my little patch of grass…. It was dry, wilted, burnt and browning. You could tell it needed tending just by looking. But it wasn’t just mine, it was ours. To be honest I knew it needed care, not that you could tell. A green thumb isn’t something I possessed and rather than learn to garden, find a fertilizer, buy a garden zombie to add some life (or gnome as normal people might ) or just  simply water the dying patch that surrounded me I … Continue reading The grass

No More “No”

Howdy Toasters, So apparently I say No a lot, so much so that I’m sure I could’ve auditioned for the role of Dr No. This is something I didn’t realize until very recently… and until it was too late to not say no any more I never thought I was or would ever become a big no sayer but it seems to have crept up on me and I gotta say I don’t like it, it doesn’t feel like me. I can only think that fear, anxiety, stubbornness and selfishness led me to my extensive but far from proud (actually … Continue reading No More “No”