R U OK? Day 2021 - Are They Really OK?
R U OK? Day - Are They Really OK?
We all have the power to talk with, support and help our friends and family when they need it most, we just need to know how.
When someone you know is struggling with life’s challenges or mental health distress it’s natural to want to help. Starting a conversation by asking if they’re OK is easy, but it can sometimes be difficult to know what to say and do next, and that can make conversations feel uncomfortable, awkward, not as supportive or open as they could be.. or even avoided.
What do you do when someone says no, they’re not OK? What are the best things you can do? How can you make someone feel safe and comfortable to talk? What if they say they are OK, but you can see they’re not? What sort of questions can you ask that can help? You’re not a mental health professional, and no-one expects you to be, so what can you do to help - and what services and organisations are there for more professional help and support? How do you set your own boundaries, expectations, and supports, and acknowledge your own limits and needs to keep yourself safe?
We can’t change or solve someone’s circumstances or problem, but our time and friendship are two valuable things we have to offer that can help lighten the load. R U OK? Day is a great chance to answer some of these questions and learn how to make the most of them to support friends and family, and have Informed, Safe, Powerful, Supportive Conversations that can help, when it’s needed most.
“80% of people who have spoken to someone when they’ve felt vulnerable in tough times feel more supported and cared about and
72% said that even though their situation did not change, feeling supported, heard and not alone helped them feel better about themselves and more able to manage their situation,”
- Ann-Maree Fardell Hartley, Registered Psychologist and Suicidologist.
Often these valuable conversations don’t happen because friends and family don’t see or recognise the signs of struggle, so don’t know that someone is vulnerable and in need of a friend, but doesn’t feel able to ask for help. Sometimes they don’t happen because people don’t feel confident about being able to help.
It’s ok, and perfectly normal, not be to be ok, but it’s not ok to feel and go it alone, thinking you’re unable or unworthy of help.
We’re never as alone as we can tell ourselves, and we all have the power to support ourselves and those around us. We have friends to talk to ( even if it feels a little uncomfortable at first) and have support services and resources to help when we need it.
https://www.craigontoast.com/mental-health-blog/2017/05/05/why-i-became-an-r-u-ok-day-ambassador
My passion for mental heath advocacy, and the reason I’m an R U OK? Ambassador sharing what i’ve learned from a lifetime of managing depression, and a few attempts to check out early, is driven by a few not-as-simple-as-they-sound desires.
to break down mental health stigma and mystery by creating more understanding
give greater confidence and comfort to talk more openly about mental health experiences, and
make giving and seeking help and support when it’s needed more open comfortable, informed, safe, everyday conversations.
I’m able to use my dark days, experiences and every day grey of managing my own mental health, in ways that help others. I get to create something positive out of dark places where none exists.
For more visit >>> R U OK?
2021 R U OK? Day Livestream Chat
BOOK YOUR FREE TICKET
Join our online event to learn when and how to ask R U OK? so you can have a conversation that could change a life.
You might laugh, you might cry but most importantly you’ll feel more empowered and able to recognise when those around us need a friend and support, and more able to have a conversation that can help.
Hosted by:
Sam Mac, Sunrise weather presenter and R U OK? Ambassador
Katherine Newton, R U OK? CEO
With honoured guest His Excellency, General the Honourable David Hurley AC DSC (Retd), Governor-General of Australia.
Recognising the Signs of Struggle and Mental Health Distress
Become more aware and feel more confident in spotting the signs that someone might need support by
listening to what they’re saying, seeing what they’re doing and knowing what’s going on in their life.
Creating Informed, Safe, Powerful, Supportive Conversations
National Mental Health Support Services, Resources and Orgs
https://www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask
4 Simple Steps to a Conversation for more understanding and more confidence to ask questions and have a conversation that feels safe, supportive and useful.
Talking to your mates doesn't have to be difficult or confronting and you don't need to have the answers or be able to solve any issues - leave that to the mental health experts. It's just about being a friend.
https://www.ruok.org.au/findhelp
If you need professional support, please contact your doctor, local health centre or one of the services listed below.
Family and friends can also call upon these services for advice and assistance on how to support someone who is struggling with life.
R U OK? Conversation and Support Resources to use every day at home, work, school or in your community
Hey Google, talk to RUOK Mate.
“Hey Google, talk to RUOK Mate”.
Access the interactive conversation scenarios and simple conversation tips on their Google Home or Google Assistant enabled smartphone or device by simply saying “Hey Google, talk to RUOK Mate”.
Orygen’s ChatSafe Conversation Guidelines for Children
Conversation Guidelines for Speaking with Children
A great resource to guide parents. teachers and others having conversations about mental health and suicide with young people.
More R U OK? Ambassador, Media and Speaker Work >>> https://www.craigontoast.com/the-work
>> Why I'm an R U OK? Ambassador <<<
What I’ve learned over a lifetime of experiences living with depression, and a few attempts to check out early, are why I’m an R U OK? Ambassador..
My story is a bit of wild ride with a few triggers of drug addicted, dealer parents, domestic violence, bikie gangs, police raids, drag queens, the gay life, suicide and other misadventures… but… without giving the ending away…against a lot of odds, i’m still here writing it.
R U OK Day x JOY 94.9 Podcast
The We Need to Talk Podcast is a collab between R U OK Day x JOY 94.9 , and talks about mental health in our LGBTIA Community.
A short and sweet little series of 3 x 1/2hr eps and there's a lot of love, life, learning and joy in the stories. All the guests shared valuable experiences, perspectives and expertise that's worthwhile dialling up ... bc we can never have enough of those.
Mental Health Support & Services
https://www.craigontoast.com/mental-health-support
To help with understanding the landscape of services, government programs, resources and other supports available, this directory is an ever-growing resource to keep in your back pocket, and share around.
The Power of Connection
The underrated power of connection
The power and impact of connection are at the heart of what give us, and life, meaning.
The intersection of technology, connection and humanity.
It’s easy to say that face to face connection is always better than a digital one, but the intersection of technology, connection and humanity is changing our lifestyles and behaviours more than we probably realise. The answers to which is better, and understanding how we’re adapting - and not- might not be as simple as they sound.
More Self Care and Mental Health Resources >>> https://www.craigontoast.com/mental-health-blog
GREAT SUPPORT, RESOURCES AND IDEAS to lighen THE load of the COVID LIFE
Understanding and Creating True Self Care
Self-Care probably isn’t what you think it is.
True self-care isn’t meditation, 8 hours of sleep, no devices after 8 and a some kind of reward of “making time for you”. Self-Care is making choices, plans and actions that create the life you don’t need to regularly escape from, or be rewarded for surviving another week.
https://www.craigontoast.com/mental-health-blog/200620-what-is-self-care
Emotional Transformation
The Power of Vulnerability
We’re taught that Vulnerability is a weakness, but the truth is it’s a superpower, you just have to learn to embrace it
Emotional Courage
Challenge our culture of positivity over emotional truth, and find the true power and meaning of emotional agility.
Here’s the thing no-one tells us about the inner critic
you don't have to give it the attention and energy it craves.
you don't have to listen to it's twisted words
you can and should question and challenge the awful things it tells you about yourself
you can learn strategies and tricks to silence and disempower it
you can reduce the anxiety and self doubt it feeds, and reclaim the power and time it steals
https://www.craigontoast.com/mental-health-blog/the-inner-critic
Creating Satisfaction and Fulfilment with Purpose
Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Fulfilling Life
Light up your life, sense of self, motivation and fulfillment.
A combination of the Japanese words “iki” (生き), or “life,” and “gai” (甲斐), which is used to describe value or worth, ikigai is all about creating more balance, satisfaction and joy in life by a understanding and doing what gives you fulfilment and purpose.
IIkigai: The Japanese Concept Of Finding Purpose In Life
GoodReads Book Review - Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life
The Habit Loop: Understanding how to break, change and start new habits more easily
Changing and creating new behaviours and habits can be hard, but that might be because we understand what we want to change and why, but we don’t always have the real know how of behaviour change.
It’s much easier once you know.
Tiny, Beautiful Things: Shaping Perspective with Gratitudes
The Smile Jar
Cookies aren't the only thing that fill a jar with happiness.
Your smile jar is all the proof you need that life doesn't actually suck, even when you're in a hellmouth that makes you think it does.
The things that make you smile - the big, small and easily forgettable moments - should be remembered. When you start collecting them, you realise their true worth.