So apparently I say No a lot, so much so that I’m sure I could’ve auditioned for the role of Dr No. This is something I didn’t realize until very recently… and until it was too late to not say no any more
I never thought I was or would ever become a big no sayer but it seems to have crept up on me and I gotta say I don’t like it, it doesn’t feel like me. I can only think that fear, anxiety, stubbornness and selfishness led me to my extensive but far from proud (actually embarrassing) collection of No’s.
I’ve found that:
No’s are personally expensive
No’s deprive you (and others) of experience
No’s negatively impact others
No’s make you boring
No’s don’t challenge
No’s can make you sad
No’s make you loose things that are valuable to you
No’s make you forget to compromise
No’s devalue others
No’s close your mind
No‘s make you fat and unfit (true, so can too much yes but that’s something for another time)
Now don’t get me wrong, No’s have their place… as in No don’t smoke that cigarette, No don’t mix metho with your orange juice, No don’t step on that blue ringed octopus, No you really don’t need to be the most out of it girl at the party or No i’m not calling the delivery guy… But No’s can creep into places where they’re not wanted or needed and start to chip away at your foundations.
Before you know it your life is surrounded by what feels like the ruins of the colosseum after Godzilla and Mothra have battled their grounds and you’re the only one around to clean up the mess. (admittedly they would probably battle in Japan not Rome but i see that as a mute point… geez)
Let this act as a warning to you, No is a dangerous word. “Yes”, “maybe”, “even let me think about that” are much better for you… overall anyway. Don’t let fear, doubt, stubbornness and anxiety lead you to jump on the No wagon. It’s a sad, lonely, unadventurous, costly ride on the No wagon.
Sadly I learn this in retrospect. It’s a wonderful thing, even if it is always late to the party. In retrospect your wrongs of the past are as easy to identify as they are impossible to fix. Knowing them however makes them easier not to repeat.
It’s time I did better and the fearful No is a habit I really need to kick
Break out the Butter, I’ll be back real soon
Todays toast is served with a dose of yoda wisdom and dedicated to the Silver Ferret